The Consequences of Not Loving Yourself

If you are familiar with my website, you would know that it is all about finding confidence and self-love. This is because I have struggled with it for so long. I have found confidence in myself through my family and friends, my passions, and simply by experiencing life. Over the years, I have become so much more confident, and I am working hard every day to become the woman I want to be. This is not an easy goal to reach though. Something that I’ve realized is that NO ONE is confident 100% of the time. There are things that I am very good at/things I enjoy doing such as weight training and writing. Even something as simple as being able to put a stylish outfit together can make me feel confident, however I am not good at everything, and I still struggle with many things.

Due to my lack of confidence over the years, I have directly seen what not loving yourself can do to you, and it isn’t pretty. Luckily, I have always been good at being myself and doing what I believe is right for me. I rarely followed/follow the crowd, and I am proud of that. But just because I have always done my own thing, does not mean that I was/am always confident. When you don’t love yourself, you sometimes settle for things you don’t deserve. Sometimes you let people use you and hurt you, and you don’t understand why they keep doing it. What I learned is that it kept happening to me because I let it. Because I didn’t love myself enough to say “I don’t deserve this. I deserve better”.

Recognizing your worth is so important, yet many people don’t talk about it. When you don’t recognize your self worth, you are going to find that you are unhappy a lot of the time. Something that I’ve realized is that happiness comes from within you, and you should never place your happiness in anyone else’s hands. It is completely OK to have people in your life who bring you happiness and joy. You should have these people in your life. You just have to be very careful and selective of who you share your happiness with. What I believe is that you, yourself should be able to make yourself happy. It can be hard to trust other people because not everyone wants you to be happy. Not everyone wants you to succeed. Do not let anyone take away your happiness or your confidence. Sometimes, I will randomly feel extremely happy for no particular reason, and I believe that this is the best kind of happy to be. No one did anything specific to make me happy, so no one can take it away. It came from me, and I love experiencing those moments.

There are so many simple ways to practice self-love. I do things daily that make me feel good. They could be as simple as relaxing for a little bit, or something more exciting to me such as weightlifting or pampering myself. I also try to compliment myself daily, particularly on the days when I am not feeling so great. Getting enough sleep, getting some work done, and ranting about your day to a friend are all ways to practice self-love. I tend to talk down about myself sometimes, and I used to not think twice about it, and now I recognize when I do this. I am trying to stop the negative self-talk, and either replace it with love and kindness, or not say anything at all. When you want to say, “I can’t do that, it’s too hard” replace it with, “I know this may not be easy, but I am going to try my best”. Instead of saying, “I suck at ___” say, “I need to practice ___”. I have trouble doing this, but I am going to try to start. When you tell yourself that you aren’t smart, beautiful, or strong, you WILL start to believe it (check out my post titled “The Power of Your Mind” for more on this).

When you don’t love yourself, you may find that you are constantly going through the same old cycle. Dealing with the same people who don’t lift you up. Feeling like you aren’t worthy, or beautiful, or smart. If you choose confidence and self-love, you are going to go so much further in life than if you were to continuously put yourself down. It isn’t easy, and I believe that it is a journey that we will be on for the rest of our lives. Even when we get to a point in our lives where we feel incredibly confident, there will still be moments where we may not feel that way. We are forever growing and changing. When I look back, I can’t believe some of the things that I put up with, but I have since changed, and for that I am so grateful. Don’t fear self-love, because on the other side may be everything you deserve and more.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope that my message sticks with you today, and I hope that you continue to better yourself and walk in the direction of confidence and self-love. Know that you aren’t alone on the journey, and I am right there with you. Your passions and your confidence will lead you to your dreams.  I feel like mine are beginning to come true already.

How to Keep the Magic of the Holidays Alive

Today, I wanted to chat about this time of year and how the holidays can feel somewhat bittersweet as we get older. Don’t worry; this is not going to be a completely depressing post! I want to share the ways that you can still keep the magic alive during this time of year as well.

There is nothing like waking up as a kid on Christmas morning and seeing that Santa Claus stopped by. It is such a magical feeling and nothing can really compare to it. As children, we believed in so many things; Santa, The Easter Bunny, and if you were in my family, maybe even a leprechaun and the Sandman. Sadly, this magic doesn’t last too long. We end up finding out that all of these magical creatures do not actually exist and it can be very upsetting. I remember my first Christmas when I found out that Santa wasn’t real. Even though I was happy and excited on Christmas day, it just didn’t feel the same. The holidays have always been important to me and I have always enjoyed this time of year, however as I am getting older I feel like the magic of all of it is disappearing. I am a full-time college student and sometimes, even though I am technically on “break”, I may still have work to do. I want to be able to relax and participate in fun holiday activities, but I am not done with the semester just yet, so it can be a bit stressful. If you are a college student like me, or it is a really busy time at work right now, try to manage your time. Every day, I make sure to get a good amount of school work done, so I can somewhat enjoy my weekends. Weekends during this time of year are usually when I can feel a bit more festive!

How to keep the magic alive:

  • Decorate

This is my first tip because it is such a simple thing to do, yet it can really get us into the holiday spirit. Decorate your home for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! If you do not celebrate one of these, just decorate for the season! Even when I am drowning in school work, being surrounded by a string of lights or holiday scented candles can really boost my holiday spirit.

  • Bake or cook holiday related recipes

You do not have to be a professional chef or baker to make some fun holiday treats. If you are not very experienced in the kitchen, go out and buy holiday themed cake mix or those ready to bake holiday sugar cookies! If you do have some great cooking/baking skills, try googling a recipe for something pumpkin spice, apple cider, or cinnamon flavored, or come up with your own recipe and share it with your loved ones!

  • Spend time with children

If you have younger siblings or cousins, take them out to go trick or treating, or bring them to meet Santa at the mall. Even though you may not believe in Santa or monsters anymore, they do, and it is still a very precious thing to see the look in a child’s eyes when they see Santa Claus, or when they get home from trick or treating and pour out their giant bag of candy. Don’t ever ruin the magic that children feel , and let them enjoy it as long as they can!

  • Attend or throw a party

It doesn’t have to be a big party, and you could just invite friends or family. I love to plan small parties for my friends and family, and it gives you a moment to be with the people you care about during the holidays. You don’t have to spend a ton of money to do this either. You can also try DIY (Do It Yourself) decorations or holiday clothing if you wanted to. (Pinterest can be very helpful when planning a party!)

  • Spend time with the people you love the most

 I feel lucky to say that I have the most incredible and loving family, and I always love spending time with them. They are the most important thing to me. I always spend the holidays with my immediate family, and that is all we need! I know that not everyone is close with their family, or sometimes you may have to see family members that you’re not incredibly close to at this time of year. If you can relate to this, spend time with your friends or just the people that matter most to you, whoever that may be!

  • Watch holiday themed movies

As a college student, I feel like there are times when I don’t even have a minute to breathe, but if you’re not on break and you manage your time well, you can definitely fit a couple holiday movies in your schedule! There is nothing better than sitting down with family to watch a Halloween or Christmas movie. At Christmas time, I absolutely love putting on Christmas pajamas, making some hot chocolate, and sitting by the lit up Christmas tree while watching movies.

  • Follow your traditions (or make your own)

My family has little things that we do every year during the holidays. One of my favorites is on New Years Eve, before the stroke of midnight, you have to finish eating 12 grapes (I think I may have finished mine only a couple of times)! I am not entirely sure where this tradition came from, but I am pretty sure we’ve done it my whole life. If you don’t really have any traditions, make some new ones to follow!

  • Go out and find holiday related events in your area

By simply googling events in your area, you are bound to find some kind of holiday event. You could go ice skating, visit haunted trails, get lost in a corn maze, go to a pumpkin patch, go apple picking, or go sledding. Also, there are many things that you can do for free such as driving around to see Christmas lights. Find an event that interests you, and show up with your friends or family.

  • Do something kind for others

Whether this means buying your family gifts or giving back to those who have less, a small act of kindness can really go a long way. Nothing beats the anticipation when your loved ones are opening gifts that you picked out just for them. If you can’t afford to buy gifts for your loved ones, tell them you love them and let them know just how important to you they are. Since I love to write, sometimes I will write my family cards that simply remind them how much I love them. Sometimes, it’s the little things that matter the most.

As we get older, the holidays can feel bittersweet. I think every adult and teen misses being a kid and experiencing that magic again, but it doesn’t have to disappear. I hope that this post was helpful to you, and I hope that you fight to keep that holiday magic alive no matter how old you get! Thank you for reading, now go make the most out of the last few months of the decade/year!

My First Tattoo Experience

I have wanted a tattoo for such a long time now, and I kind of can’t believe that I can look down and see PERMANENT ink on my body. I was probably around the age of 15 or 16 when I started looking at tattoos online, and thinking to myself “I want tattoos one day.” Something you should know is that I am a VERY anxious and indecisive person so deciding on what to get without over thinking was definitely a challenge for me. A tattoo is something that I knew I needed to think long and hard about because I didn’t want to regret it or decide on a whim, but I also didn’t want to over think it completely. For a long time, I sort of thought that tattoos should always have a meaning, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that they don’t have to have any kind of meaning, and you could just simply get the tattoo because it looks cool and you like it.

After talking about it for a while, my best friend and I decided that we would finally get serious and look for a professional, clean, and trustworthy tattoo shop. We did our research, and it took a bit of time, but we both eventually agreed on a local tattoo shop. We started thinking about the tattoos that we wanted, and I honestly was not 100% sure about my idea. I changed it twice within a short time period, so I felt a bit unsure throughout the process. We never ended up going to get our tattoos, and summer was right around the corner. I knew I wanted to go in the ocean and tan at the pool, so we decided to put off the tattoos until summer ended. I told myself that I would do it for sure in September. Summer came to an end and we started talking about getting our tattoos again. I had a lot of time to think over the summer and I finally decided on a tattoo that I knew I would love, and I knew that there would never be a reason to regret it. This time it felt more real. I started watching videos about getting tattoos and I was reading about the most painful body parts to get tattooed and I have to be honest, although doing research is important, it didn’t really calm my nerves.

Once we visited the tattoo shop that we agreed on, we were able to speak to a tattoo artist and we showed her what we wanted. We got her contact information so we would be able to schedule an appointment and she began drawing our tattoos. I was a little nervous about this part because I wanted it to be original, and I already had a good idea of what I wanted in my head. I was just hoping that our tattoo artist could create my vision. After a few days she sent us her drawings of our tattoos, and we spent some time explaining to her the things we liked and the things we wanted to change. It took a few tries, but she sent me another drawing and I knew I had my tattoo. Our appointment was coming up quickly and with each day that passed, I got a bit more anxious.

It was finally the day of our tattoo appointment and I was feeling jittery and nervous. It was all I could think about. Days leading up to the appointment, I would randomly text my best friend things like, “In a few days, we are going to go to sleep with tattoos on our bodies!” After my classes, I drove home feeling excited and terrified and I called my best friend to let her know that she could come over.

We could not have picked a better place or artist to get our first tattoos. We walked in, and our artist and the shop owner greeted us and made us feel very welcome. They made us feel more comfortable, and they were extremely kind and professional. Our artist took the time to explain everything she was doing, and she made sure that we loved what she designed. We were very nervous to get our tattoos, but my best friend decided to go first. My nerves went away while I held my best friends hand as she got her first tattoo, but they quickly came back as I sat down to get mine.  It is very scary to have to put all of your trust into a stranger, but she did an amazing job!  I did not really know what to expect pain wise, but it was obviously not a very pleasant feeling. I would say that at most, the pain was a 7 out of 10 and at the lowest it was about a 5. There were a couple spots that hurt more than others, but I had my eyes shut almost the entire time. We ended up making the blue shading a bit darker for my tattoo, and once it was over I was incredibly happy. My tattoo really doesn’t have any kind of personal meaning. I honestly just thought that it was beautiful and simple, and it is exactly what I wanted and planned on getting. Our artist explained how to take care of our tattoos, and told us to stop by and say hi any time. I do plan on getting more tattoos in the future, and if I am able to, I am definitely going back to the same shop and artist. Overall, it was a pretty exciting experience and I am grateful that I got to do it with my best friend by my side. I know that a tattoo is a big deal, but I know for a fact that this is not something I will ever regret.

Healing Update: My tattoo began scabbing over a couple days after getting it, and then the itching and peeling began. The itching was on and off, but it was SO annoying ( it only lasted a few days)! Then the top layer peeled off. I have been using A & D ointment three times a day on my tattoo, and I am still so in love with it! I am not the most patient person at times, so I kind of wish it was completely healed already, but it’ll get there!

Thank you for taking the time to read about my first tattoo experience!  If you have any questions for me, leave a comment below! Don’t forget to subscribe and share with your friends!

Creating “Compass to Confidence”

Those closest to me know that I have always had a passion for writing. As a little girl I would write in a diary often and before I could even fill up one journal, I had already bought my next one (I am almost positive that none of those journals were ever filled completely). I would write about my days; what I did, the friends I saw, etc. As I have gotten older, I have changed so much and so has my writing. For me personally, writing has been my way of reflecting on the things that I have learned/am learning. We are human, and we are always growing and learning. No matter what I am going through, I always like to keep a positive mindset and writing has helped me with this so much. Have you ever read something and it stuck with you? Or you felt like you understood exactly what the author was saying? When I read poetry or work written by other people, I often feel a connection. The thing I love the most about writing is that you don’t have to speak to connect with people. This connection that I often feel has inspired me and made me want to help others as well. If I could live my life helping people through my writing, I would feel extremely fulfilled. I decided to call my blog “Compass to Confidence” because something that I’ve struggled with, and continue to struggle with at times, is self confidence. Although I am a much more confident person than I used to be, I am not where I would like to be just yet. I created this blog to help others and to share the ways that my passions have led me to become a more confident woman. I am still becoming the person that I am meant to be, and I would love it if we helped guide each other in the direction of confidence and self-love.

What I Wear:

I have loved beauty and fashion for as long as I can remember, and it is still something I adore to this day. Over the years I have learned how to dress myself properly for any and all occasions. On a budget? No problem! Don’t forget that I am a college student who doesn’t want to spend a fortune on my clothing (although I do still want to look put together and fashionable). My main focus will be on my favorite affordable clothing stores! I plan on sharing new purchases, ootds (outfit of the days), styling tips, and so much more!

Here and There:

There is absolutely no feeling like traveling somewhere new, and I am grateful to get to experience that feeling often. Over the years I have been lucky enough to travel with my family and I have seen so many beautiful places. I plan on sharing travel tips and tricks, and telling stories about my past vacations. It is a goal of mine to travel as much as I can in my life, and my dream vacation is Paris! Although travel may not seem like it can make a person that much more confident, seeing the world has definitely made me feel very appreciative and more aware of other cultures.

Makeup and Hair:

I fell in love with makeup at a very young age. Every Christmas I was given a Barbie or Bratz makeup kit and my go-to look was chalky blue eye shadow, bright pink blush, and a deep red lip (thank god things have changed)! Around the age of 10 I discovered the beauty community on YouTube and learned everything I needed to know from the popular beauty gurus. (Anyone remember Juicystar07 or Macbarbie07?!) I began to wear makeup more often, and I have made all of the beginner mistakes. I wore foundation that was too dark and too light. I did not blend my eyeshadows enough. I was way too rough when removing my makeup. Skip to present day, where I am still just as makeup obsessed, however, I now feel much more confident in my makeup abilities (granted, I am still learning how to perfect a few different looks). I will be giving beauty tips, reviewing beauty products, and teaching you how to create the perfect everyday makeup look (among many other things)!

I would also like to mention that drugstore brands are typically what I purchase, so the products that I share with you will be affordable!

Entertainment to Share:

I am very much in tune with pop culture and I love following celebrities and keeping up to date on new music and movies/TV shows. I am constantly listening to music and finding new songs to workout to, and I love the way that art can connect with so many people across the world.  I plan to share posts that relate to my current music faves, movies/TV shows, and books I’ve been loving! Entertainment is another interest of mine that may not bring me a ton of confidence, however I think it will be fun to share my interests and find people out there who are interested in similar music, books, movies/TV shows as me! (I am a big Top 40s fan, and pop music is my favorite, but I do listen to and enjoy many different genres of music, so stick around!)

Fitness and Self-Care:

 In February of 2016, I began my fitness journey and I fell in love with weight lifting thanks to my Dad. He taught me everything that I needed to know about training.  My overall health has become very important to me over the past few years and it has changed my life for the better. I want to share my fitness journey with you, and I plan on giving tips for my fellow gym goers, healthy meal ideas, and ways to take care of your mind, body, and soul. (Focusing on my overall health has been one of the biggest steps I took that led me to becoming much more confident!)

Grab a Chair:

For this section of my blog, I plan on sharing many of my random thoughts. When I write about my feelings, I could go on forever, but I’ll try to keep it somewhat short for you. I sometimes feel that I have a better way with words when I am writing rather than speaking. If you care to read some of my deeper and slightly more personal thoughts, feel free to check this section out, and I hope that you feel a connection.

Thank you for taking the time to read my first post, “Creating ‘Compass to Confidence’”! I would appreciate it if you would like this post and share with your friends! Don’t forget to subscribe to be notified when I post something new! I can’t wait for you to come on this journey with me!