The People You Attract When You Love Yourself

For the longest time, I found myself connecting with people who treated me poorly. I felt like my heart was being taken advantage of time and time again. I used to put all of the blame on those who hurt me, but the truth is, I allowed them to treat me that way. Something I’ve learned over time is that the relationship you have with yourself, affects any and all of your relationships with others. When you don’t love who you are, you are essentially telling others, “You can love me as much as I love myself” and at times, this can be detrimental. At the end of the day, people are going to treat you how you allow them to. For myself, realizing this was a wake-up call.

Sometimes, we get into situations involving unkind people. Whether it is a love interest, a friend, a supervisor or peer, the list goes on. No one likes to be treated negatively. We all want to feel loved and accepted. We all want to find people who treat us with respect and like we are valuable. The problem is, you can’t really start looking for that love in others until you start looking for it in yourself. Truthfully, this isn’t always a problem. It depends on where you choose to focus your energy; on others or yourself. To fully accept who you are is such a gift. I have been taking my time to learn this and I have already been reaping the benefits of self-love.

I used to only focus on what I wanted. I failed to recognize my needs. Now, what I want and need is the same thing. I stopped putting in effort with people who don’t value me, and I broke free from those negative relationships that drained me. I know how I deserve to be treated now, and to rise from what I once felt broke me, is an incredible feeling. Of course, I am still learning and I am still growing. I am in no way perfect. They say that lessons are often repeated until they are learned, and I am sure that I will be tested with negative situations in the future. The difference will be how I choose to react to the situation. Will I let my love and care for others overpower their behavior, or will I walk away with the knowledge that I deserve better?

Self-love is a journey, and it is one that you need to continuously work on. You need to make it your job. It is not selfish to put yourself first when you realize that you aren’t being treated the way you deserve. There comes a point when enough is enough. You aren’t going to want to settle for people who don’t show you fierce and honest love and respect. Walking away from people who mistreat you can sometimes be difficult, but in the end, it is one of the most rewarding things you could ever do. Choosing yourself takes courage and strength.

Remember that the right people are going to love and accept you for who you are, all while pushing you to be your best self. The right people will never put you in a position where you question your worth, and they will never let you stay stuck.

I am learning to forgive myself for putting up with people and situations that I once allowed to hurt me. It is hard some days, but looking back, I see so much growth. I have changed so much in such a short amount of time, and I will always be proud of that.

For the past few years, I have been pouring so much love back into myself, and it has truly been life changing. Not only have I been feeling more confident and accepting of who I am, but I have been attracting the most amazing, supportive, and loving people into my life. I feel more at peace and happy with myself and my life than ever before, and I want to continue working hard to make sure this feeling stays.

Everything I shared today has been on my heart recently, and I am happy to put it out there. I hope that you found this message helpful today. If you feel that someone you know should hear it too, I would appreciate it if you shared this post with them. Thank you so much for reading!

Exciting Announcement: Part 2 of “Saying ‘Yes’ to New Opportunities and Why You Should Never Fear Growth”

If you have been keeping up with my blog posts for a while now, you may remember that I posted that I had an exciting announcement to share in the New Year. Remember when I posted that I said yes to an exciting new opportunity? Well, today I am finally sharing what that is! Saying yes to this opportunity is leading me to one of my biggest dreams, but it was actually not an easy decision to make, and I will explain why.

First, I want to share with you all that I am going to be traveling to France over spring break! To say that I am exhilarated would be an understatement. Everyone who knows me knows that I have dreamed of going to France for such a long time now, so the fact that I am actually going doesn’t feel real just yet.

I feel very lucky to attend a school that offers amazing opportunities. I am a junior in college and my advisor recommended that I travel abroad while in school. I do not live on campus, so I have had trouble meeting people, but part of the requirement for the travel abroad program I am in is to take a course during the semester of travel. I am currently taking a class for the program called “Bonjour Ville Saine”, which means “Hello Healthy City”. We are learning about the health of the people in my city as well as the health of the people in Paris and Lyon, which are the two cities we will be traveling to. When we come back from our trip, we are going to be comparing the health of the people in these cities to my city. I think this is going to be interesting to look at because here in America, I feel that we do have a lot of issues when it comes to healthcare.

While speaking to my advisor about the different countries that I could travel to, I felt excited at the thought of traveling again. She mentioned that there were spots open to travel to Guatemala and France. I immediately perked up when she said the word “France”. The excitement quickly dissolved when I started thinking of all of the reasons I shouldn’t go. I know that this decision may seem like a no-brainer to some of you, and you may even be thinking “Why on earth wouldn’t you say yes?” but I made a list of pros and cons. My cons were a pretty big deal in my opinion, so let’s start with that.

Although I have been lucky enough to travel often, I have always done it with my family. My family and I are very close, and the thought of being away from them for more than a couple of days makes me anxious. Especially since I am going to be OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I spent some time talking to my family and my friends because I trust their opinions, and it felt like a decision that I just couldn’t make on my own. Everyone I spoke to said I should do it. They were happy for me, so why couldn’t I just say yes?

My family knows how much this trip means to me, and I was really hoping to go to France for the first time with them. I was worried that if I went on this trip without them, I wouldn’t be able to fully enjoy it. I guess I was feeling guilty and a bit sad that I wouldn’t be able to live out my dream with the people who know how much it means to me. I’ve realized that even though I won’t be with my family, in some way it still feels special because I am going to experience it on my own. I will gain a lot of independence and confidence this way. Hopefully at some point in the future, I can enjoy France with my family. I may not be able to do every little thing I want to do this time around, so maybe one day I can do those things with my family by my side.

The next issue that held me back was the fact that I did not know a single person I would be traveling with. As I mentioned, my school offers many travel abroad programs. I knew I didn’t want to be alone, so I felt that IF I were to do this, I wanted it to be short term and I wanted to do it with a group of students and professors. Luckily, the trip to France is exactly that.

There are about fourteen of us going on this trip, plus our two professors, and many of the girls are Nursing (or health related) majors. I am not, but thankfully these programs allow anyone to join. I may not know the girls very well, but I am looking forward to getting to know them better. I am going to be living my dream, so it would be nice to enjoy it with other people. I also think that by traveling and experiencing this with them, it could help us bond.

I think that I was also holding back from saying yes because it was going to be quite a bit of responsibility. Although I feel like I am pretty responsible, and that I could take care of myself, I’ve never really been on my own before, so I was nervous that I wasn’t ready for it. I think that in life, we are going to feel “not ready” for many things, but I believe that it is up to ourselves to decide whether or not it is worth taking a risk. I know that this will be worth it, and that is why I said yes. Pushing myself to say yes was scary, but I think that this is exactly what I need right now.

I did have to make this decision on a bit of a deadline, so after thinking and thinking, I made my decision. I am not sure what it was that ultimately gave me the push, but I said yes, and I am so glad I did. I have been slowly getting to know the girls and the professors who are also going on this trip, and the closer this trip is getting, the more excited I feel. I guess what led me to this decision was the fact that I knew it was my dream. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t go. This really is going to be a great way for me to get out of my comfort zone, and I have been trying to do this more often.

Of course I am still a bit nervous like I think most people would be, but I know that this is going to be good for me. I can’t really think of any reason why it wouldn’t be now. And hey, if this ends up being a not so great experience for me, at least I can say that I did it. And even though it may seem silly to some of you, I am proud of myself for making this decision.

I am so happy to share this news with you all! I am leaving very soon, and I will not be posting any blogs while I am on my trip, but you should keep an eye out for a post when I come back. I will be talking all about my trip to France, and I can’t wait to share the experience with you! (I may not be active on my website during my trip, but I will still be on social media, so follow me on Instagram, @sacchere14, to keep up with me and my travels)! For now, I have a few other posts to share before I go, and I’ll have plenty to share when I come back! Thank you so much for reading!

Saying “Yes” to New Opportunities (And Why You Should Never Fear Growth)

I recently said yes to an opportunity that is going to lead me to one of my biggest dreams. I don’t think I’ve fully processed the thought that it is going to happen, but I am still very excited for this experience. I am not going to share it with you just yet, but I will be posting all about it on my social media accounts and of course my website in the near future!

Anyone who knows me knows that I can be very quiet and introverted a lot of the time, especially around people I don’t know. I don’t have many friends, and I often keep to myself. I prefer to be at home with my family over anything else. I like having an everyday routine, and I love planning. I enjoy staying safe in my comfort zone, to put it simply. The only problem with this is that opportunities will pass you by when you constantly choose the safe option. I saw a quote recently that said, “The safe option could fail too” and it stuck with me. I don’t want to be the person who says no to opportunities that are going to help me grow; I’ve done it enough already. When I think of the woman I am trying to become, I imagine her saying yes more often to things that are good for her, and I imagine that she is extremely confident in herself and her choices. This is the woman I want to be. And maybe deep down I am her. Maybe she’s finally shining through.

Lately I feel like many great things have been coming my way. I have so much to look forward to. I think that this has been happening because I have been putting so much positivity and love out into the world for so long and it’s making its way back to me. I have been focusing on constantly bettering myself, loving myself, and being kind to myself. If you know the purpose and goal of my blog, you’d know that it is all about finding confidence in myself, and for you, my readers, to find confidence in yourselves. This self-love journey that we are on together is rocky and imperfect, but I know in my heart that we could all benefit from showing more love and kindness to ourselves. Saying yes more often is one way that I am bettering myself and pushing myself to grow.

I have thought long and hard about making this decision that I cannot wait to share with you all. It is something that I have been dreaming about for so long now. Just because I have been dreaming about this, it doesn’t mean that the decision was easy for me to make (eventually, I will discuss why). I turned to my family and friends to get their opinions and advice. I am so extremely grateful to have good people in my life whom I trust and value the opinions of. They helped me weigh the pros and cons, and they supported me. This decision may have seemed like a no brainer to some, but to me it was important and it required me to think. I believe that you should never make big decisions on a whim, but you also shouldn’t over think it too much. I am still trying not to stress or worry so much. It’s good to be aware of the consequences of our choices, just don’t let them consume you.

I am proud of myself for choosing to take a risk. For choosing to do something that absolutely terrifies me, because even though I am terrified, I am excited as well. One of my biggest dreams is about to come true. This is a big step for me to take, and I am a bit nervous for what’s to come, but I know this opportunity is bound to bring me good things. It is going to help me grow.

Don’t be afraid of growth. Don’t be afraid of failure. I am learning this now, and I am so excited to see where this journey takes me. I will be sharing this decision with all of you in the new year, so stay tuned! If you are stuck trying to make a difficult decision, this is your sign. If it is going to help you grow, take the risk. Thank you so much for reading! I know this isn’t a holiday related post, but I wanted to share it with you before the year is over! Be on the lookout for more holiday posts coming very soon!

The Consequences of Not Loving Yourself

If you are familiar with my website, you would know that it is all about finding confidence and self-love. This is because I have struggled with it for so long. I have found confidence in myself through my family and friends, my passions, and simply by experiencing life. Over the years, I have become so much more confident, and I am working hard every day to become the woman I want to be. This is not an easy goal to reach though. Something that I’ve realized is that NO ONE is confident 100% of the time. There are things that I am very good at/things I enjoy doing such as weight training and writing. Even something as simple as being able to put a stylish outfit together can make me feel confident, however I am not good at everything, and I still struggle with many things.

Due to my lack of confidence over the years, I have directly seen what not loving yourself can do to you, and it isn’t pretty. Luckily, I have always been good at being myself and doing what I believe is right for me. I rarely followed/follow the crowd, and I am proud of that. But just because I have always done my own thing, does not mean that I was/am always confident. When you don’t love yourself, you sometimes settle for things you don’t deserve. Sometimes you let people use you and hurt you, and you don’t understand why they keep doing it. What I learned is that it kept happening to me because I let it. Because I didn’t love myself enough to say “I don’t deserve this. I deserve better”.

Recognizing your worth is so important, yet many people don’t talk about it. When you don’t recognize your self worth, you are going to find that you are unhappy a lot of the time. Something that I’ve realized is that happiness comes from within you, and you should never place your happiness in anyone else’s hands. It is completely OK to have people in your life who bring you happiness and joy. You should have these people in your life. You just have to be very careful and selective of who you share your happiness with. What I believe is that you, yourself should be able to make yourself happy. It can be hard to trust other people because not everyone wants you to be happy. Not everyone wants you to succeed. Do not let anyone take away your happiness or your confidence. Sometimes, I will randomly feel extremely happy for no particular reason, and I believe that this is the best kind of happy to be. No one did anything specific to make me happy, so no one can take it away. It came from me, and I love experiencing those moments.

There are so many simple ways to practice self-love. I do things daily that make me feel good. They could be as simple as relaxing for a little bit, or something more exciting to me such as weightlifting or pampering myself. I also try to compliment myself daily, particularly on the days when I am not feeling so great. Getting enough sleep, getting some work done, and ranting about your day to a friend are all ways to practice self-love. I tend to talk down about myself sometimes, and I used to not think twice about it, and now I recognize when I do this. I am trying to stop the negative self-talk, and either replace it with love and kindness, or not say anything at all. When you want to say, “I can’t do that, it’s too hard” replace it with, “I know this may not be easy, but I am going to try my best”. Instead of saying, “I suck at ___” say, “I need to practice ___”. I have trouble doing this, but I am going to try to start. When you tell yourself that you aren’t smart, beautiful, or strong, you WILL start to believe it (check out my post titled “The Power of Your Mind” for more on this).

When you don’t love yourself, you may find that you are constantly going through the same old cycle. Dealing with the same people who don’t lift you up. Feeling like you aren’t worthy, or beautiful, or smart. If you choose confidence and self-love, you are going to go so much further in life than if you were to continuously put yourself down. It isn’t easy, and I believe that it is a journey that we will be on for the rest of our lives. Even when we get to a point in our lives where we feel incredibly confident, there will still be moments where we may not feel that way. We are forever growing and changing. When I look back, I can’t believe some of the things that I put up with, but I have since changed, and for that I am so grateful. Don’t fear self-love, because on the other side may be everything you deserve and more.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope that my message sticks with you today, and I hope that you continue to better yourself and walk in the direction of confidence and self-love. Know that you aren’t alone on the journey, and I am right there with you. Your passions and your confidence will lead you to your dreams.  I feel like mine are beginning to come true already.