The Consequences of Not Loving Yourself

If you are familiar with my website, you would know that it is all about finding confidence and self-love. This is because I have struggled with it for so long. I have found confidence in myself through my family and friends, my passions, and simply by experiencing life. Over the years, I have become so much more confident, and I am working hard every day to become the woman I want to be. This is not an easy goal to reach though. Something that I’ve realized is that NO ONE is confident 100% of the time. There are things that I am very good at/things I enjoy doing such as weight training and writing. Even something as simple as being able to put a stylish outfit together can make me feel confident, however I am not good at everything, and I still struggle with many things.

Due to my lack of confidence over the years, I have directly seen what not loving yourself can do to you, and it isn’t pretty. Luckily, I have always been good at being myself and doing what I believe is right for me. I rarely followed/follow the crowd, and I am proud of that. But just because I have always done my own thing, does not mean that I was/am always confident. When you don’t love yourself, you sometimes settle for things you don’t deserve. Sometimes you let people use you and hurt you, and you don’t understand why they keep doing it. What I learned is that it kept happening to me because I let it. Because I didn’t love myself enough to say “I don’t deserve this. I deserve better”.

Recognizing your worth is so important, yet many people don’t talk about it. When you don’t recognize your self worth, you are going to find that you are unhappy a lot of the time. Something that I’ve realized is that happiness comes from within you, and you should never place your happiness in anyone else’s hands. It is completely OK to have people in your life who bring you happiness and joy. You should have these people in your life. You just have to be very careful and selective of who you share your happiness with. What I believe is that you, yourself should be able to make yourself happy. It can be hard to trust other people because not everyone wants you to be happy. Not everyone wants you to succeed. Do not let anyone take away your happiness or your confidence. Sometimes, I will randomly feel extremely happy for no particular reason, and I believe that this is the best kind of happy to be. No one did anything specific to make me happy, so no one can take it away. It came from me, and I love experiencing those moments.

There are so many simple ways to practice self-love. I do things daily that make me feel good. They could be as simple as relaxing for a little bit, or something more exciting to me such as weightlifting or pampering myself. I also try to compliment myself daily, particularly on the days when I am not feeling so great. Getting enough sleep, getting some work done, and ranting about your day to a friend are all ways to practice self-love. I tend to talk down about myself sometimes, and I used to not think twice about it, and now I recognize when I do this. I am trying to stop the negative self-talk, and either replace it with love and kindness, or not say anything at all. When you want to say, “I can’t do that, it’s too hard” replace it with, “I know this may not be easy, but I am going to try my best”. Instead of saying, “I suck at ___” say, “I need to practice ___”. I have trouble doing this, but I am going to try to start. When you tell yourself that you aren’t smart, beautiful, or strong, you WILL start to believe it (check out my post titled “The Power of Your Mind” for more on this).

When you don’t love yourself, you may find that you are constantly going through the same old cycle. Dealing with the same people who don’t lift you up. Feeling like you aren’t worthy, or beautiful, or smart. If you choose confidence and self-love, you are going to go so much further in life than if you were to continuously put yourself down. It isn’t easy, and I believe that it is a journey that we will be on for the rest of our lives. Even when we get to a point in our lives where we feel incredibly confident, there will still be moments where we may not feel that way. We are forever growing and changing. When I look back, I can’t believe some of the things that I put up with, but I have since changed, and for that I am so grateful. Don’t fear self-love, because on the other side may be everything you deserve and more.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope that my message sticks with you today, and I hope that you continue to better yourself and walk in the direction of confidence and self-love. Know that you aren’t alone on the journey, and I am right there with you. Your passions and your confidence will lead you to your dreams.  I feel like mine are beginning to come true already.